I just finished (well almost finished) my first week with the two kids and if this week is how the summer is going to be then I cant wait. I know we're going to fight, pick at each other, and generally annoy the living crap out of each other.
I spent all week dropping the kids at a golf camp, watching movies, playing board games, listening to country music, and avoiding their three cats. They have three. Three.
The boy (going into 6th grade) loves board games and I'm fairly sure that if he could, he'd play Monopoly for the rest of his life. That's pretty much what we did all week. He's very quiet and thoughtful and a freaking genius. When it comes to playing a game, I usually go ahead and apologize ahead of time because by the time the game is over, I've offended you with my over competitiveness. So when he bought Park Place and I already had Boardwalk, all I could think was ok kid, do you want to burn this relationship? Things were going so well. But then one of the three cats jumped on the board and decided that the game was over. Why do cats think they own everything? I am not a cat person at all and these people are. Like "they-put-their-face-near-its-jaws-of-death-and-coo-at-it" kind of cat people. No.
Also on the first day, two eventful things happened.
Event #1: I was dropping the boy off for his first day of golf and the instructor came up to me asking me if I was going to sign my self up today. Uh? the camp is for kids in 2nd grade to 7th grade. And really, does it look like I'd wear golf clothes? Pastels are not my thing. But that's not the eventful thing. While he played golf, I sat in a really old leather chair in a building off the golf course. You know, leather chairs are really great and all but when its hot, leather does this funny thing where when you move, it makes a semi fart noise. Well, right as these two elderly women were walking by, two things happened simultaneously. I dropped my summer reading book (Dracula, thanks a bunch Mrs. Gross) and moved to pick it up. And right as the two women were passing me, the chair decided to unleash an unholy shriek/fart noise. Both women looked at me like I had just yelled an obscene word at the top of my lungs. They hurried past and as they were walking away one of them said, "Oh bless her heart what did she eat?" Had the two been two very attractive guys, I'm sure I would have thrown my self out the window and curl up to wait for death. But they weren't. So I just laughed, causing the chair to emit more shrieks of flatulence.
Event #2: The kids made me watch Les Miserables. I feel like they were trying to haze me. You'd think that knowing whats going to come would stop me from a full on emotional break down. I mean everybody dies, why is this still an issue. I lose some self respect every time I do that now.
Anyway, that's pretty much it.
Keep Smiling,
Maddie
